How it works: The game begins the night before; if we are in a pinch we flip a coin three times, best two out of three wins. If we have more time we will play rummy or some other card game. Play whatever works for you. A coin is usually the easiest and the complete chance of it makes it seem less in your control and more in fates hands.
Here's the catch, the winner Is Not the "Boss" the next day. By winning, you are able to shirk all responsibility in the domestic decision department and kick back. The loser has to be the "Boss". Joe and I have a unisex watch that we share, so the "Boss" has to wear the watch. Since making all of the hard decisions, the "Boss" needs to know the time right?
Why it works: The reason it works is two-fold. First off, not one person will ever always be the "Boss", which means that you are switching power and control back and forth and taking turns being in charge. Secondly, whether or not you both are dominant and stubborn, it's a great lesson to help you really learn more about your partner and what they might want to do. It's also a great reminder to shut up and listen, which we can all use at times.
On top of that, it's fun. When Joe and I first started out, we realized that we were giddy when we weren't the "Boss". It was so fun to kick back and relax, not worrying about any decisions that we might have to make. It also increased our confidence when we were the "Boss" to stop questioning ourselves and double checking with one another a million times to just go for what we wanted.
Most of all this is just a fun exercise to relax and let go of holding on so tightly to making decisions for all of you alphas out there.
What the "Boss" isn't: The "Boss" isn't a bully. There is no forcing anything (physical or otherwise) on the other partner that they are not interested in or that is unhealthy or unsafe. There is no not taking part in any decisions that are made, because for this to work, you have to be a team and respect one another. The "Boss" is simply the leader, the one to decide something like what's for dinner, or what should we do today on our day off. Remember "Bosses" this is a two way street, so if you want to watch football on your "Boss" day, that you might end up getting a pedicure on your partners "Boss" day; and there's no saying no!
Most of all this is just a fun exercise to relax and let go of holding on so tightly to making decisions for all of you alphas out there. It means trusting your partner and having fun together no matter who is the "Boss" that day. I hope this works for you as well as it has been working for us. Please feel free to email us or comment below and let us know!!